He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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