it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
