I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
