so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
