She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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