i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
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But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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