What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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