just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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