I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
