:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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