Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize