what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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