Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
