I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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