So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
