If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
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You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
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Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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