How'd it feel making her break her religion?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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