remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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