This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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