There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize