I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
