ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
