We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
