Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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