How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize