therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
