Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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