Me too!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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