whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
