he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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