You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Randomize
