and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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