In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
