Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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