he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
