All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
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I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
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i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...