in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
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I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad