Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
