Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
