this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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