i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
