so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
