Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
