I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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