you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
