Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize