Got a toothbrush?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Randomize
