You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
