okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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