the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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