i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
