Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I know her cup size but not her name....
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