When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
