You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
