Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
