i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
high people should be assigned attendants
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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