you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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